Tie up my wrists, help me slip this noose around my neck.

The lack of indication sprouts new reason to stall. Broken hope and fractured worry splinters my every fiber. Hollow inside, with wafting blue and gray smoke. Rubber insides that are too slick to touch. Squirming black lines to cover it all up. Fiberglass eyes give away the pitless black swirl of a soul. Doubt runs through my veins trying to catch the fear that runs ahead. With broken wings and a cracked spine, I wobble through life with glistening misery. I stutter my words, I stumble through my sentences. I voice my secrets so lightly, that not even I can hear them. My words, the foe I have befriended. They line up how I want, they sparkle with the glitter I painted them with. But they blind me and hurt my eyes, making me remember shit I want to ignore. I confess things that should be left unknown, I hide things that the world should know. I am chaos, I am danger. My heart heavy with dread is chained to me, being dragged behind like a limp leg; a very big burden. So in an attempt to get rid of it, I throw my barbed wire heart into anyone's hands who dares come close enough. They try to hold tight to it, but the bloody rusty hooks cut into their hands and when the pain gets too much or if their hands turn to bloody shreds, my heart plops onto the floor. I hate them when they drop it, blaming them for breaking me. I trust no one, not even myself. I cower away from touch, I shimmy away from wanted hands. I have been torn into millions of pieces by only myself. I have jagged edges that only one person can fit perfectly against and only one other person that can temporarily smooth away. Do not tear yourself up to try and fit against me, you don't know the pattern. I lasso people into my ruthless life, but always warning them before. Silly stupid people, you think you can fix it? Fix me? I'm not broken. No, I'm destroyed.