I am dying.

I opened up a door about death. I have been exploring the door for weeks. The door was clouded with ashy smokey dust and I choked on its mysterious ways but I explored it enough to share the wisdom I embossed by it. Here goes: Love is a death and war goddess. She comes for unexpected visits offering the poisonous, addictive drug that always leaves you begging for more. She caresses the soul into yearning and needing. She breaths life's mystery into your heart and lungs, making it pump love toxins in the blood stream. Tainting the mind and body. Without her touch you weep and you ache. She hordes the sickening beating of love into her very presence, causing you to wonder how its achieved, and soon you accomplish it but not understanding how. When her visits are over, you become a rotting corpse from the inside out. Pride is thrown out the window, desperation sets in. Cold is a frost that coats your bones and sleep never comes easy. Beauty makes you gag and wish you could demolish it away with the flick of your wrist. She leaves you alone and scared, thinking she will never again visit you because you became a pathetic loser who is weak, stupid and needy. She leaves the blood in you tainted with memories that make you feel like shit. But if you start to forget them, even the little ones that didn't ever really mean all that much, you kick and scream and try clawing at them to stay within your grasp. She leaves you just as unannounced as she comes. Making you scream wicked words at yourself, for being so naïve into thinking she would stay. Love is the purest emotion, most likely the very basic emotion. The one God created first, his choice of emotion. It's angelic presence, it's demonic disappearance. How it withers souls and minds into one big pile of ash, only for the ashes to burst into life again (if you are lucky enough). Love is what makes the idea of heaven and hell. Love is what puts value into a person. Puts meaning and virtue and ideas and imagination. Puts life into a being. Love is God's child that he blesses us enough for it to walk gracefully among us. With that being said, let's take a walk down the next part of the twisting path. Well, I came to the conclusion that I am more something other than a simple human. And I believe everyone has something more human in them. Just the human in them hides it and you have to be able to break out of the human, in order for the other thing that you are to come out. Everyone who recounts a visit to heaven and hell admit themselves they are nothing special. That the light there blinds them, or that the light is even more powerful and beautiful then the sun. Do you acquire super powers or traits when you die or "visit" heaven/hell to be able to be there? Did the people make up these stories and recollections of their visits? Did they trip really hard on some insane drug? Or did their imagination just take them far enough to come up with their ideas? Or maybe they were all so very insane that they saw vivid hallucinations based on what they were taught and told? There are two type of people when they hear these stories. One: you want proof. Two: you are just as crazy or desperate enough to believe them. At what point does the mind turn insane? Was it insane in the beginning? Or did you just walk far enough down the twisted paths in your mind that the landscape changed into being insane? If heaven and hell are only attained by dying, then how do these people get to visit those places? Imagination and pretending: living in another universe. What if heaven and hell is a place where you get to create it. Where you get to decide who goes in and what is there. Would that make you god? And by saying that, it makes my ideas preposterous. But what if that's how God planned it all? "I will give life, but I will never be the one to take it away. They can all be immortal- just using the power of their minds. I will give them their minds but it is up to them to decide how to use it" What if you can create your own afterlife? Where you create and acquire everything by your imagination? Where you only see what you expect to see? So for any religious man, they would see the heaven they made up in their heads, what they have been taught and thought their whole lives. And if they have any ounce of guilt, they would create their own hell. What if every man inhabites his own world? You leave behind the body you were born into. You become what your soul is, how your traits and characteristics and your personality makes you appear. How your soul and spirit "look". Where beauty and ugliness become one and you finally become you. What if that's exactly how every story about heaven and hell came about? Just by plain old imagination. In my eyes, it would be knowledgeable imagination, the power of the mind. What if God is simply a power that created souls and the power of will? What if that's all he did and does? In your lifetime, if you were able to do let go of the human that imprisoned you, and your body dies then this is what happens to the thing people called you- you become a teleporter, being able to visit and go anywhere you think of. The universe, a star, the sun, the bottom of the ocean, into the center of the earth. Wherever. You do that for however long you'd like. Then you would be able to have the option of going into another universe and being able to live a life there. You will be shown all the different universes and you will be able to choose which one you'll want a lifetime in, and then bam- you will be born again and have a life and grow old blah blah blah and while you are living the life, if you are able to break the mold on what contains you, becoming you again, then you can die and do the whole thing over again--but only if you were powerful enough.