And the engine rattles my bum like biserk

I remember how close we became, linked mentally. I remember how raw my throat was, and how hoarse and ragged yours became. Bearing myself like that, spilling my whole silvery insides out like that- was overwhelming and exhausting. I didn't know how much I could tell someone, how much trust was there. I miss you. I am missing a part of the past, a friend, a connection. I remember that gooey grilled cheese sandwich you made me. Or the time we made cupcakes. How we cooked and explained what we were doing with Indian/British/hillbilly accents on our own cooking show. How we stayed up into the wee hours of dawn. How we would send each other links to things that arouse our bored state of mind. How we slapped those jacks till our hands were red or just too numb to play. How we sat in front of your computer, hours and hours upon end. How we dirtied your room playing dress up. How we cried together. How much we laughed together. How we came up with these grand schemes for me and you. How we pinched each other. How you scared the shit out of me and I never paid you back. How mature we grew with each other. How relaxed we were together. How we shared iPod earphones in your bed, dad's car, my dad's car. How we whispered to each other. How we fake screamed at each other. How hard we hugged each other. How alone and together we felt. How we went to the mall and rainbow ice cream. How I stole all of your candy( I still have to make that up to you). How I drew on your shoes with shakey hands because it was the last day I had with you, or so we thought. How I texted you in the night, knowing your insomniac ass would be awake too. How you would make funny noises. How you would make those faces. This is a memoir to my imprint half. I miss you.