Even though it hurts, You're my favorite pain.

The creaking of the floorboards, give way to my light footsteps. The sighing of the door, squeaks out it's worry. The staircase eases under my weight, and I cringe thinking someone must wake. But no one does. I join the insomniac ghost as my thoughts start to turn. The flicker of my lighter singes the air with fragility. Time, how it rules lives. It tries the grease my life so I'll fly through it quick. But I am already too slick. I get to watch how the bells make the animals skitter, how watches brand the wearer. My bare skin alters every day so quickly, that I barely have the time to notice. I need to fall in love. Where my every thought consists of something else other than him. I want someone's thoughts to occur in the wake of my name. I want to feel the fire of one's touch, and the coolness of their absence. My faith in others is starting to break, who must I try to keep. Who must I throw away. How easy it is for me to dismiss people yet miss their features when I am alone. Already one lone boy can look at me and my stomach quakes. Horse shoes would weigh me down instead of letting my fly. My heart is an absent lover, one whose beats I took for granted. It's those shadows in the dark, those creases in the night, those that make you doubt what's there and what is not. Maybe it's those rusty good-byes that always flake away to reveal a shining hello. Or maybe it's those imaginary smiles that kiss these leaking eyes. A valley in the center of my chest pulses an alive symbol. Thump thump bump, never speak of how I tremble. Pump pump blood, light my insides up with kerosene. Glimmer like a slick newborn struggling to breathe, aren't you just the same? My sloppy tongue will tell a tale of broken remedies and a haunted city. Sleep does not come easy for a restless soul. Nightmares are the thoughts and the daydreams are the samples. What counts? Surely not I, as much as I fail to notice. A sugary high, more like hokus pokus. Rambles, rable, ramblings let me taint your mind. Grab a handful of fevers, throw them to the seas. Run far far away, you've done enough good deeds. These words, you mean these that I strung together like a pearly necklace, these ones? They will all turn to sand, all turn to stone, all turn to dust, all turn to ash. Like the memories in your head, like your brain in a century. This is all for nothing, but to you it's everything.