Well,

It seems I have lost a follower. Poop. Just as I was staring to think I was good and interesting. My friend came over yesterday and we smoked (of course). But that's not really what I am wanting to talk about. What I want to ramble on about today would be... ...*drum roll*

Life.

She and I were talking about how life goes on. Life doesn't wait for you at all. How it goes by too fast, how little you have to show for it. How little memories you conduct over your lifetime. How small they are, and how much they mean to you. How fast childhood goes by with you wishing you were older, how teenage years are so fucking confusing and too emotional you wish you could just sleep forever. I wish we could have a memory from every single day we lived. So, today I thought, I am going to do that. I will take a picture of something or write something down or draw every single day and document it. So soon I will have a plethora of tangible memories. I did that today, in Algebra 2. But the paper slipped out of my back pocket. And I really hope no one finds it because it has my current crushes name written on it. But it doesn't have mine. But still. I guess my blog could help me document the big stuff, so part of me remembering my Life is done. Another friend of mine were talking about how old/young we feel. We don't feel as old as juniors, going to graduate next year (hopefully with my stoner ass) but we don't feel as young as freshmen. Like we are stuck. I am growing up, my views are changing. I am changing. My body looks weird to me, my face looks...I don't know. Older. I am excited for "adulthood". You know, moving out on your own, doing your own shit. I am not ready to grow up, but I am ready to just...grow. I am not a child, but my heart is so young and bruised. And come to think of it, I actually like it that way. My little sister said something really...thought provoking to me the other day. She told me a story that she made while me and her were in the kitchen. It was something along the lines of: There was a newborn baby and an old old old wise woman. The wise woman asked the newborn if they wanted an easy or hard life. And the newborn said "Let me think about it." So the old wise woman let the newborn think about it. The newborn took its time, its whole life in fact. When the newborn was all grown and withered away, resting on its death bed the old wise woman came to visit it. The not so newborn finally answered the old wise woman with "I want an easy Life." The old wise woman sat there for a moment, and finally said. "Too late now." And with that the old withered away newborn died. My sister is 9, remember? It's incredible that she came up with this. If you think about it, it can give you so much insight. Why sit there day after day thinking things over that could have gone this way, or should have when you should just accept it and live?